Our lives are full of experiences and our brains love to evaluate these. It quickly assesses and categorizes: fun, exciting, sad, boring, dumb, painful, easy, the best!, The Worst, etc. As we add new experiences, our evaluations shift. What was once our favorite meal is overshadowed by another. The hardest problem we’ve ever faced might begin to look easy after a time. While our brain is evaluating these experiences it is simultaneously evaluating how much of each experience we should keep.
Have I ever told you that expectation is the root of all emotional pain?
Our efficient brain works to group all of our experiences into two sections: good and bad or easy and hard or pleasurable and painful. If we look at these two groups of experiences, how much of each should we feel? 90% good and 10% bad? If this is our expectation and reality doesn’t match up, our brain is going to decide that something is wrong. Once it tells us this, we will feel even worse. We will start to feel like our life has more pain than neccessary, which will add even more pain as we desperately try to fix it.
I suggest creating the expectation for a 50/50 balance. After all, what is better than a well-balanced life?
This balance aligns with the brain naturally placing all experiences into one half or the other. The hard creates the easy; The bad times allow you to enjoy the good ones. It’s precisely that contrast that gives our lives feeling. Look for the balance in your life and embrace the feelings on both sides.
When you try to get rid of the painful emotions, you only add to your sufferings because no matter how you change your life, you will never be able to get rid of the hard, the sad, the boring, the dumb, or the painful. It’s unavoidably out there. Once your life is in balance, you will be able to fully feel 100% of the good stuff.