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Why Don't You Just Leave?



Why don’t you leave? This very question is one that I find creates a foundation of change. It’s a question that I ask my clients when it seems like they are especially focused on the problems within the relationship. Often times this translates to the problems with their partner. When asked, I usually hear many good reasons to stay:

  • ‘We have kids together.’

  • ‘I could never afford to live on my own!’

  • ‘We have good moments, too. I don’t want a divorce.’

  • ‘I vowed in prosperity and adversity alike.’

All good reasons to stay! So, when it seems like all you can see is the pain in your relationship, maybe you can start with this question. When you do, when you write down your answers to this question, you can see why you are choosing this relationship. You read that right, you are choosing the relationship you are in. Now, you can choose to complain about it, or you can go and make the most of it.

When you are ready to make the most of it, I suggest you start by seeing what you can do to make this the best relationship possible, for you! So many things are out of our control. But you are always in control of your own thoughts and responses. Examine these. You have a remarkable power to influence your relationship in amazing ways!


I am sure you didn’t dream of the pain you are experiencing in your relationship. Nobody does. Each relationship experiences its own set of unexpected circumstances. And it’s possible for you to turn them into a better or a worse experience for you. You can settle for the way you are feeling right now or you can take action. And you can start taking action by asking yourself, ‘Why don’t I just leave?’



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