We said what we meant and we meant what we said: make time to fight! Yes, really! Some of the most connecting moments in our relationships come out of a good fight. This is because our disagreements are often the result of misunderstandings. If we never take time to work through them, the confusion lives on and distance develops.
Over time it is easy to begin to really believe the misconceptions we've created. We don't have time to discuss them. Then, when there would be time, we don't want to “wreck the mood.” We believe that it’s during happy times when closeness is established. However, we are doing ourselves a disservice by allowing this cheerfulness despite what’s on our mind.
True closeness is actually established once we can work through the hurts and confusions in all of the misunderstandings and find safety in our spouse.
So, the next time you get away, schedule in some time for the hard conversations. For all the things you haven’t had time for. For those things you haven’t wanted to bring up in front of the kids. For anything that might be weighing on your mind and on your heart. Figuring out the root cause to these things can save your relationship much more than any insta-worthy, heart-eyed-emoji, #relationshipgoals date you might plan out.