I’m gonna give you the answer right off the bat: it’s because he thinks you don’t like him. That probably sounds alarming; why does he think this? In my experience it has so much to do with his own insecurities and so little to do with you.
With that in mind, what can you do about it?? Well, consider if you like him or not!
If you don’t, then we can get to work on changing that (assuming that’s what you want) and see what changes in your relationship!
If you do, then it’s time to understand where the miscommunication is coming in.
We communicate with our words, actions, inactions, tone, and even simple facial expressions. Husbands are always on the lookout to see if you’re happy. If they interpret your actions as unhappy, they may take responsiblity for your unhappiness and shutdown!
Next time you see your husband shutdown and are looking for a new response, just let him know you want to connect. You want him. Invite him into a conversation with you, back into a relationship with you, and then step back and give him space to take action.
Do you feel you’re getting stuck trying to navigate your conflict cycle? If so, reach out and I will walk you through your cycle at no cost to you!