Some people don’t feel loved by their spouse, even though their spouse is crazy for them. Other people have believed whole-heartedly that they were loved, right up until the moment they uncovered an affair or found divorce papers being delivered to their doorsteps.
You see, the feeling of love isn’t something shared to us; it is something created within us. We created this feeling simply by thinking the thought, “They love us.” This thought feels so good to think about, doesn’t it..?
It only feels good when we believe it! The problem with this line of thinking is that when we don’t believe it, it becomes painful. We start to wonder ‘why.’ Why don’t they love us? This anxiety creates new behavior that impacts how others interact with us. In turn, the way they’re interacting usually creates more evidence to support our initial worry. With this new evidence we may start to wonder what is wrong with us. I want to offer you a new perspective.
Some people will love you, and some people won’t. And that is okay. The love of other people holds no real meaning about you. When someone loves you, it is because of their thoughts. Just like when someone doesn’t love you.
Think about it: Someone you dislike is liked by many others. Someone you love is disliked by someone else. This is because your dislike or like of them is because of you, not because of them. And their love of you is because of them, and not because of you. It’s a pretty amazing thing.
I like to believe that all humans are lovable. What we lack as humans is the capacity to love everyone. Some you will like and some you won’t. Some will like you and some won’t. Not because anything is wrong with you, but because they simply lack the capacity for more love.
You are loved. You are lovable.
Once you believe these two things, you won’t be looking to others for evidence of this because you will have it.
You will have it from within.