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Today I had the best conversation with a couple that has three decades (plus!) of marriage together under their belt. When they started sharing about their experiences within their relationship I knew I had to have “big ears.” I’m glad I recognized this. They had so many wonderful thoughts to share.
One analogy that was shared in that conversation was this: Anyone who has said that marriage is not a bed of roses isn’t a gardener. To get a beautiful bloom one must tend to the plant. If we neglect the rosebush, we leave it susceptible to diseases. The approach to caring for the plant is also important. My thoughts go to when I once fertilized my lawn with the ‘more is better’ approach and ended up killing my grass. It made sense in my mind, but it sure had poor results!
Often when solving for problems in our relationships we face similar issues. Our approach doesn’t seem to be getting us what we want. What can we do?
Become intentional in caring for the relationship.
Learn ways to care properly for your marriage.
Care to give, not to receive.
Notice when conflict patterns are pushing you away instead of bringing you together.
Focus on your part in fostering a good environment for the marriage.
Stay optimistic.
Remember that your brain isn’t always right about a situation.
Proceed curiously.
This was my lesson this morning. This is what I needed to hear for my marriage. I am able to share it with you only because it was first shared with me.
