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The Other Side of Difficulty



So often in our life and in our relationships, we are faced with challenges.


Tiktok has changed the way we think of challenges. There, a challenge might be to see who can make the bed first every day. While we’ve offered similar challenges here at Pivotal Approach, I’m not talking about that kind of challenge today. I’m talking about the ones that crop up inside our relationships. The ‘we don’t get along’ type of challenges. The ‘they aren’t like they used to be’ kind of challenge. The ‘I am too busy/poor/sick’ challenge you may be facing today.


We each experience our own unique set of challenges; What feels difficult for me, may not be so hard for you. It never fails, though, that when we are confronted by these challenges, we always wish we didn’t have to face them.


These challenges often lead to worry and doubt inside our closest relationships. We begin to wonder: what went wrong?? We start to question why we’re facing these challenges. We even begin to imagine what our relationship might be like without them. We picture a happier life, filled with smiles. We fill in an extra twinkle, some deeper connection. We convince ourselves that we’d be more connected. We begin to believe that Happiness is found in the easy pathways. We convince ourselves that happiness lives in the times when everything goes right.


I hate to break it to you, but happiness isn’t the result of easy. True happiness enters our lives when we live in alignment with who we want to be and what we want to do. Even, or possibly especially, in the difficult times. When we can do this, we experience increased levels of contentment, joy, happiness, and accomplishment.


It doesn’t matter if we’re facing a physical challenge (ex: meeting a deadline at work) or an emotional one (ex: staying together in conflict). On the other side of that challenge is all the things we were looking for. All the things we were trying to find by avoiding the pain of the challenge itself. Only in moving through the challenge intentionally, staying true to who we want to be, does one discover happiness.

There is a purpose to our pain. It is often there to help us stay in alignment with our values. So, get the support you need from others to stay strong in the hard times, to struggle through the difficulties. Ask for help getting through each challenge as it comes, and together we can experience the comfort of connection. And with it, you will find that happiness is waiting on the other side.

The comfort of connection. And happiness delightfully experienced on the other side.


That is what life is all about.



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